Big Goddamned Heroes
by DDG
Summary: Shepard's had drinks shoved down her throat all night and Zaeed's all too willing to make the most of it.


**Title:** Big Goddamned Heroes  
**Character/Pairing:** Zaeed Massani, fem!Shepard; Zaeed/fem!Shepard  
**Rating:** M  
**Word Count:** 1446  
**Summary:** Shepard's had drinks shoved down her throat all night and Zaeed's all too willing to make the most of it.  
**Author's Notes:** Written for a prompt on the Mass Effect kinkmeme on Livejournal. **02/28/2010:** Fixed missing quotation marks. If there are any other errors, please let me know.  
**Disclaimer:** Mass Effect and co. are not mine, sadly.

They were in some shit bar on Omega, celebrating, with Shepard ordering the entire crew shots by the dozen. "On Cerberus," she proclaimed, grinning and standing on top of the bar (ignoring the scowls of the bartenders behind it). "Bill it all to Cerberus."

She dropped back down and Jacob clapped her on the back, laughing. Zaeed didn't know if the bar was actually going to try and bill this entire night to Cerberus, but he knew that _he_ wasn't going to bitch about free drinks, and the same probably went for the rest of the crew. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth," his grandpap always used to say, among other dated, human expressions that had managed to stick with Zaeed over the years.

He took a place at the far end of the counter, downing his first shot before glancing around. Almost the entirety of the Normandy's crew had managed to pack itself into the dive and Zaeed imagined it was the most business the place had gotten in a long time. Leaning an elbow on the counter, he waved for another shot.

When Shepard had offered to treat everyone to drinks for a "job _damn_ well done", someone had suggested Afterlife. But after Shepard's near-death at the hands of a Batarian bartender there, she'd refused to return, except for the occasional business with Aria or Patriarch. Garrus had offered up the name of another bar and Zaeed had backed him up on the suggestion. The place was a hellhole but it had damn good drinks, and fucking hell did they need some, after what they'd just accomplished.

Which brought them to where they were now, with Shepard leaning back against the bar counter with half the team gathered around her as she gave some speech about how they'd defeated the Collector threat, but the real fight was just beginning.

She held her own shot glass up into the air, smirked, and flicked her gaze to Zaeed momentarily as she finished. "But right now, let's kickback and celebrate the fact that we're big goddamn heroes."

Zaeed couldn't help the half-smile that snaked its way onto his face. As Shepard was dragged off to a table by Jacob, Zaeed gestured to the bartender for another shot.

By the end of the night, Mordin was walking on top of the bar, singing requested songs at the top of his lungs; Jacob and Miranda were shooting each other drunken, lustful looks; Tali, Donnelly and Daniels had slipped off back to the ship; and Garrus, Thane and Grunt had disappeared somewhere between their fourth and eighth shots (thirtieth and fortieth for Grunt). With most of the crew filtered out of the bar and either back on the ship or wandering Omega (the doc was going to be busy treating hangovers and injuries all of tomorrow), Shepard was sitting by her lonesome, nursing a drink as she stared at the sticky table it was sitting on.

He spared her a glance as he stood from his bar stool, and when she turned her attention to him, he nodded at her and headed for the door. Woman was damn crazy, that was for sure, and shitfaced beyond belief, if the squinting at him from her corner of the room was any indication. Zaeed knew his limits well enough to stop _before_ he was seeing twos and threes of everyone else. Always made him vomit when that happened.

Stepping carefully over a few tipped over chairs on his way to the door, his balance only somewhat in question, there was a sudden crash and a "Wait!" as he reached it. Behind him, Shepard was tripping over the chairs and tables as she scrambled to catch up with him. "Wait," she breathed, grabbing his arm and using it to balance herself. She let go and swayed for a few seconds before clutching his arm again, tighter this time. Looking up at him, eyes wide, she said, "Let's go," and made a feeble attempt at dragging him through the door.

Eyebrows raised at her, highly amused, Zaeed pulled his arm from her grip and wrapped it around her waist. "Yeah," he smiled, "let's go."

From the bar, Mordin interrupted his singing to shout, "Remember contraceptives. Pills, condoms, lubricants in my office if needed." Zaeed scoffed. Even drunk, Mordin still managed to spout his medical advice.

Shepard giggled as they rounded the first corner outside the bar and one of her hands cupped his ass, fingers digging under one of the metal plates, while the other hand slid over his stomach and downward, tracing over the releases to his armor.

Around another corner and into a darkened room, Zaeed shoved Shepard against the wall with one hand and slapped the door lock with the other. He pressed against her, hands going straight for the releases on her armor while he ducked his head to her neck and sucked at the skin, tongue pressing against her pulse. Shepard made a needy noise and arched her body against him.

There was a click as the top half of her armor released and Zaeed helped Shepard out of it. As soon as it'd fallen to the floor, he set one hand to work on her bottom half while the other slipped under her thin shirt and explored her stomach and chest. Rough nails dragged across smooth skin and he silenced her cries with his own mouth. He worked his lips greedily against hers while her own hands remembered what they'd been doing up until he'd shoved her against the wall.

Zaeed pulled away from Shepard and let out a breath as she hit the releases on his armor, then he quickly shrugged the top half off and kicked away the bottom half. The rest of her armor had finally fallen away, and Zaeed pressed his knee between Shepard's thighs, rubbing in just the right spot and forcing a moan from her lips. His mouth fell back down to her neck while one hand massaged a breast and nipple and the other cupped her ass, fingers gripping tight as he held her closer to him.

Her own hands made their way under his shirt and up his back, nails scraping lightly along as he forced more noises out of her. He pressed himself tighter against her, erection digging roughly into her stomach. He'd have her digging bloody crests into his back and screaming his name in no time.

"Zaeed," Shepard pleaded, grinding herself almost desperately against his knee.

"What?" he growled into her ear. "What do you want ol' Zaeed to do?"

She made a heady noise as Zaeed bit her earlobe. "Fuck me," she answered, speaking slowly. "Show me what the big goddamned hero Zaeed can _do_," she slurred and Zaeed chuckled before kissing her on the mouth again, roughly.

Her shorts and underwear were gone in an instant, falling somewhere off to the side to join her armor, and Zaeed pulled his erection out of his boxers before dropping both hands to Shepard's ass and lifting her off the ground. Her legs wrapped around his waist in response and he pressed inside her, letting a groan of his own escape as he filled her. Shepard moaned into his mouth and Zaeed released her lips, dipped back to the crook of her neck.

Beginning to pump into her, mercilessly, he muffled his own noises of pleasure against her neck as she grew louder and louder. Nails bit into skin and Zaeed fucked her harder in response, working delicious screams of pleasure from her. His own nails dug into the flesh of her ass, sure to leave angry red welts, and Zaeed couldn't help but grin against her neck.

It was quick and rough, and she came crying out his name and breathed hot and heavy against his neck as he finished.

Panting, he released her gently to the ground and leaned one hand against the wall. Shepard's hands slipped out from under his shirt and there was already the sting of sweat in the marks she'd left.

Zaeed tucked himself back into his boxers and blindly smacked at the wall to his left for the light. When it finally stuttered to life, he shielded his eyes and gathered together his and Shepard's armor, while Shepard herself simply clutched at the wall, looking extremely drunk and exhausted.

Smirking, he helped her back into her armor before yanking on his own.

There was no way in hell _she'd_ remember this in the morning; but he would, and that was all that mattered.


End file.
